To the Parents I Was Rude to Last Night at Work:

I'm not sorry that I was rude to you.

I apologize to my co-workers, because I know your opinion of me transfers to them, and they are very nice people who deserve better.

I'm sorry for myself because I really do wish I was smarter sometimes.

I'm sorry I was rude because, now that I've eaten and gotten some rest, I'm less grumpy and I've had time to reflect and realize that smiling and saying "Can I help you find anything?" might have made you realize how much of an ass you were being instead of giving you more excuses for your own rudeness. Some of you seemed pretty self-absorbed and dense, however, so I doubt it.

I am not sorry, however, that I was rude to you or that your feelings may have been hurt. You deserved it.

It's one thing to be rude because you're having a bad day and you really need to let your frustrations out somehow. (see: me, last night) It's still bad because, unfortunately, sometimes people get caught in the crossfire. I know, I'm in retail. I'm often the person caught in the crossfire. It is, however, forgiveable. We all do it.

It's quite another thing, however, to be rude simply because it makes you feel better to be rude. It doesn't matter how politely you word it, commenting on someone elses bad fortune, without asking what you can do to help, is just another form of name-calling, no matter how politely you word it.

Going up to a person who makes little more than minimum wage, as they are racing around trying to keep customers like yourself from destroying the store's merchandise and treating books like trash, and saying "Gosh, this must keep you busy all night" is not commisserating with them, it's being an ass. You deserve much worse than silence and a roll of the eyes. Especially when you are stupid enough to repeat yourself as if the reason for my silence was poor hearing and not the complete inability to come up with anything remotely appropriate in response.

People like you deserve a time out, a lengthy fire and brimstone lecture, and community service. A little bit of rudeness is letting you off easy.

PS - to the lady that was nice enough to not only point out the dripping cup left on the Klutz fixture, but pick it up and hand it to me, and then thank me for the books I found for you even though I didn't have to go to that much effort to do so, I'm very, very sorry that I was not the essence of good manners to you. You are a wonderful person.