Deer in Headlights

Whenever anyone says something rude or stupid to my face, at work or elsewhere, I freeze up and can't think of a thing to say while I stare with my mouth hanging open at their audacity.

Which is why I love the internet, because it gives me a chance to stop and think. It also exacerbates my talent for rambling once I get going, but occasionaly I come up with good one liners that might actually be used in real life situations. More often I run across others making them, but since I don't think they'll mind if I steal them, and you are all welcome to use any of mine, here's a few for us all to remember:

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From Diary of a Freak Magnet (via the 13th Carnival of the Feminists): When someone greets you with an innapropiate salutation (sweetheart, honey, etc.), greet them right back with another.

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Whenever a guy interrupts an unrelated discussion to tell you are hot, or interjects similar sentiments at other innapropriate times, simply ask "Is that really relevant?" (As many slashdotters did).

When, because he can't answer no, even though the question is obviously rhetorical, he begins to say stupid things like:

"I don’t understand...I’m not allowed to think “Man is she hot and smart too!”?"

Explain that "Being distracted by attractiveness isn’t just a guy thing, but refusing to put a lid on it, in our patriarchal society, is."

When they start whining "but I was trying to treat women with respect" Simply reply:

"Do, or do not. There is no try."

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However, as lost clown reminds us, when you run across yet another guy "sit[ting] with [his] legs as far apart as physically possible on public transport" please be kind and offer him some sympathy. Swollen Ball Sydrome must be painful as well as widespread.